This is without a doubt the hardest post I have ever had to write and that’s because I know this will be the last one.
Today would have been Oliver’s second birthday and it was our ambition to see him walking before his birthday. Obviously that’s something we will never see.
It’s been over 2 months since we lost Oliver and life is still very odd. We are both now back at work, something I thought I’d never be able to do, and I suppose we have got back into a routine. Our days of splitting ourselves between hospital and home are gone, we never need to know how to scrub up, change a stoma bag or pass an NG tube again.
But one thing that never goes away is the fact that we have lost our baby. If we meet new people now, we’re parents with one child, not two and that just doesn’t seem right.
I am at peace with the fact that I know Oliver was suffering and his outlook seemed bleak. He is no longer in pain, no longer having to endure procedure after procedure, no longer struggling while his eyesight deteriorated. What I can’t do is make the sadness that we all feel go away. Paul has been totally devastated by losing his first born child and all I can do is comfort him, knowing nothing I can say or do makes the hurt go away and I feel so helpless.
Shortly after Oliver’s funeral we went down to Poole for as few days and as we had never had the opportunity to take Oliver to the seaside we decided we would scatter Oliver’s ashes there. Typically it was a grotty, rainy day, but in a break in the showers we scattered Oliver’s ashes off the end of Swanage Pier, which is a lovely traditional pier. As we scattered the ashes into the sea they shone like glitter and glistened in the sea, and magically the sun came out….a perfect send off for our little star.
To remember our special place we have sponsored a plaque on the pier which we hope to go and see soon, and we now have a beautiful print on the wall at home. The little white shelter is where Oliver’s plaque is.
In memory of Oliver and to say an enormous thank you to Ronald McDonald House Birmingham, who provided us somewhere to stay for over 7 months, we would like to sponsor a bedroom. The cost to sponsor a room is £5000 which is a bold target, but something we are keen to work towards.
Please visit and donate: http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/SomeoneSpecial/OliverJones
And finally, in memory Oliver….here’s his best bits. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESh1TUjNEKU